I’ve become less and less personal here on the blog over the years. At some point, the really personal exchange only took place on Instagram and less on heylilahey.com. Unfortunately. But I notice that blogs are becoming a little more popular again. The fast pace of Instagram and the opaque algorithm drive some people back to “slower” media. At least that is my assessment.
On the blog I can also tell, explain and share a little more and the blog posts are easier to find again than a story or a post that has slipped down the feed.
But before I get to the big news: This year I already shared a not so nice thing with you on Instagram:
Unfortunately, we had two miscarriages in 2021. It was a terrible time that really weighed me down. I can’t really describe how bad the time after the miscarriage was. It was a dark hole, a lot of sadness and a lot of negative emotions that I don’t want to put in writing right now.
Miscarriages are still a huge taboo topic, even though they happen so often. I think sadness, shame, expectations, social pressure, ignorance, etc. all play a role. I don’t want to break the taboo or clarify it, I’m just one of those affected who is still processing the whole thing. But I can remember that reading stories from other sufferers actually gave me a little ray of hope. Especially from people who were more public, such as bloggers/Instagramers etc. It just made me feel a little less alone.
So after I felt a little better, I opened up online and posted about what was going on on Instagram.
We were lucky and got pregnant again this year. Our big news! This time we are already over half way! I know that sounds like a very, very matter-of-fact pregnancy announcement. Normally, this topic only talks about the greatest happiness, the most beautiful and most exciting time. But pregnancies after losses, aka #PregnancyAfterLoss, are just a little more complicated. Of course, every pregnant person struggles with anxiety. But after a loss, these are even stronger and even more real because I know exactly what the worst case scenario feels like. For example, there was hardly any real joy until the 12th week. Good news was always mixed with the thoughts “well, let’s see, who knows if it will work this time”. Every time I had an ultrasound, I felt extremely sick from excitement and fear and always cried. I found bonding with the baby difficult, as well as planning for the baby.


It wasn’t until around week 16 that we were able to be a little more happy. And from week 20, after the big scan that examined everything possible and gave us very good news, we were able to enjoy the pregnancy more! Now I’m in the 27th week of pregnancy and we can finally plan a bit for the birth and afterwards.
I’m still very nervous. So far I have hardly taken any tummy photos and hardly bought anything for the baby. We only have maternity clothes and a few supplies such as compression socks and a band for the stomach. If I’m going to be that nervous, I’d like to at least be in comfortable clothes 🙂
There will be a separate blog post on this!


If you have lived through or experienced something similar to me, then one thing is for sure: You are not alone! Miscarriages are unfortunately very common, and there will unfortunately be many similar stories in your circle of acquaintances or friends. It’s just that many people don’t open up because there’s still a lot of shame around it. A few initial reactions are aimed at “victim blaming,” so to speak. Because of course I also heard things like “oh, you were just too stressed”. Unfortunately, this isn’t helpful, as miscarriages often simply happen without the parents’ influence. Often it simply shouldn’t be, for example due to chromosomal changes that simply always lead to an abortion. Sometimes life is just unfair.
It doesn’t need many words either. Phrases like “I’m sorry,” “What can I do to help?”, “I’m here for you.” are simple but often exactly what you need. As well as a lot of time.
But I can definitely understand if you unfollow me from now on or put my accounts on mute for a while. I’ve done this myself with many Instagram accounts. I just didn’t want to watch baby content after the miscarriages. I’m definitely sending lots of love & strength if you’re going through something similar! As I said, you are not alone!!!
In any case, my husband and I are now trying to enjoy our pregnancy more, step by step. We are very happy, can hardly wait to finally meet the little baby, but of course we are still thinking in terms of milestones!
Many bloggers often write after a pregnancy announcement that the content won’t change much. But honestly, in the end it’s still often about the baby. But that’s no wonder! Your whole life is turned upside down and as a blogger you often write about personal things. The content here on heylilahey.com will not fundamentally change. The topics of travel, sustainability, food, and especially fair fashion & interior continue to play the main role. But baby topics will still come in again and again! And to be honest, I’m really looking forward to it 🙂
In any case, thank you for being here! Some have been following me for years now and somehow it’s really exciting to update you here about such a big change in my life 🙂