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Wedding planning divides minds: “Cool, I’m looking forward to it and I like to spend every free minute with it,” say some. “Phew, so much stress and so much to do,” the others. In truth, both are right and there is no wrong feeling. Because every bridal couple works differently and accordingly feels different. The wishes also play a major role – it is of course easier to plan a small, fine wedding than a big break over two days.
And this is exactly where the planning of most brewing couples begins. How do you actually want to get married?
When these points are finally clarified, the process continues.
And this is exactly where the big question arises: How much stress can you tolerate in a day? Do you really want everything to happen on one date and do you prefer to split the events? If necessary, even with a gap of half a year to a year?
We have summarized our thoughts on this for you.
Registry office and church in one day – advantages:
- A civil marriage is compulsory in Germany and always forms the legal part. That is why the date there is also listed as an official wedding day. If you plan everything in one day, you only have one wedding date.
Our tip as an alternative: Many newlyweds marry in a civil ceremony on a Friday (or on a Thursday in the case of a subsequent leap year) and then plan the church / private wedding exactly one year later. So you have the same wedding day that you can always celebrate beautifully.
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- Do you want all of your loved ones to appear on both occasions? Then it is easier for everyone to only have to take time off, travel, etc.
- If you plan your registry office and church in one day, you only need styling, a dress, etc. once, but that doesn’t mean that the bride would want that too.
Intermediate question: Which day counts as a wedding day – registry office or church?
If you celebrate the registry office and (free) wedding ceremony separately, you could celebrate your wedding anniversary twice a year or you could choose one. After all, it is entirely up to you which day was “more important” for you. You are officially married to a civil ceremony, but that doesn’t dictate when you want to celebrate.
Registry office and church in one day – disadvantages:
- Clearly: a packed day like this can be extremely stressful! And not only for the bridal couple, but also the guests are challenged and sometimes overwhelmed. Children in particular get queasy in the evening and want to go to bed early.
- The bride in particular has to get up early, the styling etc. takes time. It’s a shame if you don’t get your “beauty sleep” on such an important day or if you can’t have a hearty breakfast, for example.
- The wedding budget is an important thing and should always be adapted to the circumstances of the bride and groom. Celebrating the registry office and church on one day can be too big. It may be better to distribute the costs and, for example, to celebrate in a civil ceremony one year and church in the next.
- Depending on how much lead time you have until the desired wedding day, it can be difficult to get an appointment at the registry office, to find a suitable church and a free location. It is easier here to be able to switch to different data.
Here it is important to weigh up and decide together what is really important to you when celebrating a wedding.
It is often easier for newlyweds who marry abroad and invite their closest circle to it. Since the guests usually stay in the respective country for a few days, everything can easily be spread over two days. So everything stays relaxed.
Tips on the invitation text for the registry office
Regardless of how you decide – the planned process should be communicated to your guests as well as possible without misunderstandings or unanswered questions.
We have put together some tips and text ideas for you.
Special case: Celebrating the wedding pregnant
It is not uncommon for unmarried couples to expect offspring. Then the question arises: Should we celebrate the wedding before the birth?
In terms of bureaucracy and paperwork, this has its advantages and the family togetherness is of course often stronger as a married couple. But to cut a good figure in a white dress and also to drink a few glasses of champagne – many brides don’t want to do without that.
The solution for this would also be to split the events: Celebrate the civil wedding in a small group while pregnant. You can also invite larger parties to the wedding ceremony and then “only” have a champagne reception (with snacks, if necessary). Then you say goodbye with the closest family to end the day comfortably with a meal. The church / free wedding is then done in a larger circle a year later. Then the offspring is already a toddler and you have your figure back to celebrate the wedding in a white wedding dress with champagne in your hand.
The alternative: If you do not want to get married pregnant under any circumstances, you can also have the wedding together with the baptism a few months after the birth. Also a nice option that we have in the article “Eaves – the combination of marriage and baptism” describe in more detail.
If you do decide to have a big party while pregnant, then read our article “Getting married pregnant – the most important tips”.
Test: should we get married in one day?
Of course, only you can decide for yourself how you want to celebrate your wedding – whether with the registry office and church on one day or on two dates, possibly more distant. With these questions we would like to give you an orientation: Please count how often you answer YES or NO.
Questions about the wedding day
1) Is it very important to you that you only have one wedding anniversary?
2) Do you have at least 9 months to plan?
Questions about the guests
3) Do many important guests come from far away?
4) Are only a few (small) children invited?
Questions about the budget
5) Is your budget tight so that nothing can be paid twice?
6) Does the planned budget already exist and does not need to be saved anymore?
7) Do you have a good sense of punctuality and can you stick to a tight schedule?
8) Coziness and a relaxed start to the day are not so important to you?
More YES answers
It is probably better for you to organize the civil and church wedding or free wedding on one day. The closer the number of your YES answers comes to eight, the more this variant suits you.
More NO answers
The more you tend to NO, the more likely a split wedding will suit you. You can celebrate your civil marriage relatively quickly in a small group and catch up on the larger church or free wedding in half a year or a year.
How you ultimately decide is of course entirely up to you. All that remains for us to say is: Have a wonderful wedding and enjoy the time – whether on one or more days!
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